Day 19: Quitting is not an option

img_0088_2[1]I’m almost there and I have to stay strong through out this weekend in Vermont. Spaghetti squash has been roasted and spaghettied, I’m going to make an eggplant parm, 21 DSD friendly, to eat for tonight and to have it for Sunday when I get home. I was going to make some chips to bring up but I’m running out of time. I had a hell of a work week so food prep was knocked to the bottom of the list. I made an announcement today in boot camp that I had 3 days left of this detox and it felt SO good to say it. I can’t believe I’m doing it.

My skin looks better than ever theory was thrown out the window this morning when I noticed a huge zit forming on my chin. I will blame that one on stress because I’ve been nothing but a huge ball of it this week with work issues. I’m very excited to close my laptop and head up to VT with great friends for lounging in front of the fire and catching up with them. I can’t wait to get on the slopes tomorrow. We are putting the kids in ski school so I will get to ski on big people slopes. I can’t wait to go fast! I know my toes will freeze instantly this weekend but the pain will be worth it.

If I can get through the weekend without really wanted a Long Trail Ale then I will consider this detox a TOTAL success. I can do it. I know I can.


Day 18: The final countdown

it-s-the-final-countdownThe end is near..I can taste it. I’m not sure why I want the detox to be over because I have no plans to indulge in chocolate covered bread or anything crazy like it. I guess I just want the idea of following a strict regime to be over and I want to put down my 21 DSD book for awhile. I’m excited to try new recipes with forbidden foods (like fruit, beans, rice, whole grains) and just taste something other than green apples, almonds, coconut and meat. I’m so sick of meat. bleh. I want to experiment and make my own whole wheat pasta. Tom has made homemade pasta in the past and it’s delicious but now I want to try some different type of whole grain flours. I’m excited to start cooking! I need to find a new cookbook.

It’s hard to believe it’s almost been 3 weeks since I started this detox. It really hasn’t been that much of a challenge but I think if I had to give up dairy on top of everything I have given up for 3 weeks that would’ve been really tough. I’m very curious what a chocolate chip cookie will taste like next week. Will it be overly sweet? I want to experiment and make my own bread too. Tom and I used to make our bread all the time now I need to get back into the habit. I have to reserve time on the weekends for baking. Instead of drinking wine in front of the TV I guess I better get into the kitchen.

My stomach has been bothering me for most of the week. Maybe it’s an overdose of vegetables? Maybe not enough water? I need to cut back on my coffee intake. Maybe that will be my next detox, caffeine.

Day 17: And the winner is…

clean_eating[1]I’m going with a modified Clean Eating (with meats and dairy in moderation). Yesterday I saw a Facebook post by a clean-eating friend and she posted this recipe: Quinoa wrap with black beans, feta and avocado and I’m drooling. Wraps, beans, quinoa, feta…ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh how I’ve missed you.  I’m not giving up meat to eat a total clean diet but I will be conscious and consume much less of it. I’ve learned that I cannot live on a diet totally based of meat, sorry Paleo People. I need dairy in my life too. I love cheese but I will eat it sparingly. I will take this detox as a learning experience. I’ve learned what my body can live with and live without. I guess it’s more of my brain, what my brain can live with and without. I can’t torture myself because that is making me unhappy. I’ve learned that I have no desire to consume processed foods anymore. I’ve been enjoying the fresh food prep and cooking part of this detox. If anything it has inspired me to be more creative in the kitchen.  My ground turkey and chorizo chili was AWESOME last night. 3 alarm chili…I was sweating and burning calories as I was eating it and my family will attest as they wiped my brow with a napkin. I cannot wait for lunch leftovers today.

This weekend is a ski weekend in Vermont.  I was on the fence with throwing the last 2 days of detox away so I could enjoy the weekend and indulge but there is a huge part of me that doesn’t want to. I have to finish what I started. My sweet, loving friend Nicole who is going up to VT with me is being super supportive and said she would drink seltzer along with me. Now that’s a friend! She doesn’t even need to but I know there will be no “pressure” just to have 1 beer.  There’s nothing worse then trying to defend your healthy actions. That’s another lesson I learned on this detox. Leave people alone. If they’re Paleo, Vegetarian, Vegan, let them be!  Don’t call them out on their cheats or choices. Let them be. They’re trying to better themselves and just because you don’t agree with it or do it there is no need to express your opinion to them. Likewise for them! I will only say something to you if you drink Diet Coke all day long because seriously, that stuff is REALLY, REALLY awful for you.  If I say something to you it’s because I love you and don’t want your guts to rot.

I’m looking forward to Monday. I think I will celebrate the end of the detox with a Quinoa & Black Bean Wrap!

Day 16: It’s getting tiresome

woman-bored-by-vegeterian-food[1]I’m going to admit it. I’m getting a little bored of this whole detox thing. Maybe I’m just in a rut or maybe I’m hungry and tired but being limited on food is stressful. Yesterday I could not suppress my appetite with anything I was “allowed” to eat  and I was staring into the fridge and pantry all afternoon. Maybe I’m not eating enough on the detox? Maybe I’m treating it too much like diet and not a detox and that’s not what this is supposed to be.  The few pounds I’ve shed have made a difference in my clothes. They’re fitting better and I don’t feel my thighs rubbing together as much anymore but now I’m terrified that I will gain it back in one meal.

Yesterday I went to good ole’ West Milford Shop Rite and I wanted to buy a jicama to make “fries” from a recipe in my 21 DSD book. I didn’t know what jicama looked like in it’s raw form and I forgot to Google it and apparently the people who work at Shop Rite don’t know either.  The jicama was right next to the yuca (aka cassava) and it was mislabeled.  I can only blame myself for not knowing but anyway when I got home I decided to Google it to make sure  and the item I bought was not jicama but the yuca. The jicama was one bin over.  Of course every recipe I found for yuca said “If you’re on a low carb diet this is not for you!” Greeaaaaat. I made the “fries” anyway. I over boiled (boiling is suggested before baking) the yuca and then put the piles of mush on a baking sheet, drizzled olive oil and seasoned with salt, pepper and paprika. They didn’t taste that bad but if I didn’t turn them to mush in the boiling water they would’ve been better.  If you’re wondering what yuca (cassava)  is, here’s a link to it listed on the Top 10 Most Dangerous Food list.

So I ate some of the yuca with steamed shrimp w/hot sauce and avocado in lettuce wraps. I felt like a big slob after it but then I really wanted chocolate. I didn’t have any but I wanted it. Feeling bloated and defeated I made some tea and went to bed. I did spend some time yesterday baking for today. I made another batch of the carrot and pumpkin spice muffins with the help of my oldest who loved cracking all those eggs. Today I have to make my chicken tortilla-less soup and I’m going to start my chorizo chili. It’s good thing that a snow storm is coming so I’ll have more time to stay home and prepare more dishes. I also have to whip up another batch of my almond butter cups. I’m running out of eggs!!!

I miss the crunch. I just want something to crunch between my teeth. Is it Monday yet?


Day 15: I cheated, for reals this time

sugar-detox[1]Dear diary, I’m a cheater.

We went out for dinner last night at Bahama Breeze and  I looked over the menu to find a 21 DSD friendly dish and since I’m really tired of salad I went for a meal. I thought ordering wood-grilled chicken, broccoli and cinnamon mashed yams would be innocent but lo  and behold the yams were laced with brown sugar. I knew it by the first bite and yet I kept shoving it into my mouth. Tom scooped up a spoonful, looked at me, and pointed out the brown sugar taste. Busted.  I thought the sugary taste in the yams would’ve been an overload of sweetness but it really wasn’t at all. It was quite tasty. Uh oh.

Let me back up to Saturday afternoon when I baked 3 batches of homemade chocolate chip cookies for my wee little ones and their friend because I’m an awesome mom. Not only did I avoid licking the batter and melted chocolate off my hands I didn’t eat ONE cookie. Not one.  It was one of the best batches of cookies I’ve made in a while too. They didn’t come out like pancakes.  They appeared to be puffed,  lightly browned circular pieces of heaven and I avoided them. I’ll also throw in Saturday night, after an intense hockey game there was a birthday celebration and I said no to beer, food, and cake.  So if a little brown sugar in a yam is my cheat then it’s time to get over it and move on. Tom couldn’t believe how guilty I felt after I ate it last night. I think he laughed at me the whole way home.

My stomach wasn’t feeling that great this weekend but I feel better this morning. I’m going to get back on track with the cooking and staying on top of the meal plan. The end of the detox is so close and I know I can make it till Sunday. How do I reward myself for 21 days and only 1 slip-up (so far)? The other question is where do I go from here? I cannot maintain this total detox lifestyle forever,  that is for sure.  It’s great that I lost 6 lbs already and I hope to lose a few more but the challenge will to be putting naturally occurring sugars and starches back into my diet and keep the weight off.  The book recommends that I add one thing I’ve avoided for 3 weeks and include it in each meal and see how I feel after that day.

Time to find a new cookbook.

Day 12: Forbidden Fruit

woman-going-crazy[1]I want fruit. Ripe, overripe, fermented…I really can’t wait to put fruit back into my diet. I’m getting a little tired of worrying if the banana I’m consuming is overripe therefore considered cheating. I do love green apples, smothered in almond butter, but the pomegranate on my counter looks so tasty.  And a glass of wine wouldn’t be too bad either. This is what I miss the most on the detox. The things I haven’t really missed are  white sugar and processed foods. I do miss beans and quinoa a smidge but I can hold off another week without them. Ok,  I miss bread. I miss pita bread, wraps but I think it’s more of a texture thing and the fact that’s its easier to consume food in a wrap than in a piece of lettuce.  I wish I could eat something crunchy other than nuts. I miss granola.

Today I had a great day of workouts. My 5:45 am boot camp had some great exercises focusing on a few muscle groups and then my spin class got my heart pumping and my legs throbbing. I fueled before boot camp this morning and right after, before 9:15 am spin, and that held me over till 1 pm. I was starved when I finally got home but I made a green salad with some broiled chicken and finished the left over 1/3 of a sweet potato I had in the fridge.  My branola (my grain-free granola) was really good with almond milk (store bought, not fresh and now I’m sitting in my daughter’s gymnastics waiting for it to end so I can devour some dinner. Tom’s whipping up some sort of stir fry.

This is my last weekend of 21 DSD prepping. I sort of fell behind on following the meal plan in the book but I just consumed very plain, easy to prepare dishes instead. I’m going to work on the bone broth this weekend so I can make the chicken tortilla-less soup. There’s also a pork tenderloin recipe that I want to make for Sunday. I made the not sweet cinnamon cookies which I like (but could be a little more crunchy) and I’m still enjoying my almond butter cups. I need to make some more.

I felt energized for most of the day but I got tired around 4 pm but I will attribute that to not refueling properly after spin class. I’m happy I get to sleep-in tomorrow. It will be nice to get up AFTER the sun rises.

Day 11: I cheated

cheatedDon’t worry. I cheated with Fage Low-Fat plain greek yogurt. I’m supposed to have full fat plain yogurt and all I could find was the low fat in the city. I looked up the nutrition content between the low fat vs. full fat and there is not much different. The 2% has lower calories and fat but everything else is mostly the same. So perhaps I won’t worry too much about cheating with 2% yogurt but I had no choice. I was stuck in the city and surrounded by garbage.  I can’t believe how difficult it is to eat well.  For lunch, I had steamed Mongolian-styled vegetables and some chicken and shrimp (plain)  but I was still starving after I ate it so I went back to the cafe and I could only find the yogurt. The yogurt did the trick and filled me until dinner.  Day 10 was a difficult day all around.

Yesterday morning I woke up at 5 am and went to Body Pump. As tired as I was I increased my weights for some unknown reason. It really helps to have a class full of people to encourage you. After class I ran home to get the kids up, fed, dressed and in the meantime I had to get myself fed and dressed for work and we all left at 8 am for their school bus and my commute to the train station. 3 hours later I arrived at my office beat. I guess I didn’t eat well enough after that workout because I was dragging all morning. I drank lots of coffee yesterday. It was the only thing that really kept me going.

When I got home at 7:30 there was left over Brussels sprouts, steak and salad for me. I devoured it all and then got the kids showered and to bed. I was in bed by 9 pm. And still today I’m tired but I didn’t eat right after spin this morning which I think is the problem. I have to get post-workout snacks ready to go. I can’t wait an hour and half to eat. It’s killing me.

The other night when I was home I made my own almond milk and almond meal. My almond milk is delicious, it has a drop of vanilla in it, and today I’m going to try and bake the grain-free banola with the almond meal and the non-sweet cinnamon cookies. This detox is working. I was craving my non-sweet almond butter cups last night and now I think they taste really good. It’s hard to believe over a week ago I thought they were gross. Someone wrote they thought the cookies tasted like dog food last week, the first week, and now they’re quite tasty. We’ll see!

I stepped on the scale today and I discovered I’ve lost 5 lbs in a week and a half. I was told this morning by a fellow gym member that I look as if I lost weight. That made my morning!

I have lots of work today so it will keep me busy but I’m still tired. I don’t know what happened to my energy but maybe  I need a little shut eye at lunch today, grab a 10 minute snooze to energize me for a long night ahead. Is it Friday yet?